Worst feeling: Disappointed.

Tuesday today. I had one class to attend to then I’m going home. I has this perfect plan on how my day should go. Everything was going so well especially when he said that he’ll be coming over. I was pretty much excited to go home but then..nothing goes perfectly well as planned. Worst case? the main actor for your plan suddenly had other plans. & POOF! It became coco crunch. Haha. Just kidding! I was really trying to cheer myself up. I was really disappointed. Disappointed to the point that I should have known better. Its been countless times already he did something like this and I hate myself for not being ready for unexpected but definetely somewhat predictable moments like those. 

How would my perfect Tuesday was planned?

Chilling at home, eating our favorite food (pizza, yeah that’s right) while watching our favorite tv series (the walking dead, yeah..zombiesssss) new episode together. + cuddling in bed and laughing out loud. Just two people having fun. Just Us. The Perfect Date. How I always wanted something like that.

But then again, It’s already 4pm in the afternoon. I’m lying in my bed. Thinking of the rigtht words on how to express what I feel. & trying to be optimistic as much as I can.

I’m the type of person who doesn’t want to disappoint others especially the ones I love. I don’t usually make plans because I don’ want to take those chances of disappointing others by backing out that very moment when you already confirmed. It really hurts to be left hanging when everything else is already planned. 

"Yung nag alok ka pero hindi ka din pala mamimigay"

I’m not being selfish or anything, I know that his world doesn’t revolve around mine. I just wanted time. some of his time while we still can. while he still have some free time. There are five days left before another chapter begins. & I’m the one who’s scared. I don’t want to feel the time competency again. I just don’t.